Gambling and Random Love Confessions
by Zenaga the Sea Serpent
Summary: After being caught, the Mews, Ryou, Keiichirou, and Masaya gamble for their lives, only to be interupted by random love confessions. Pairings: PxL KxI IxM For a while TxP ZxM RxI. By Arizo and Zen-kun!
1. Let the Games Begin

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Tokyo Mew Mew or else I would be extremely rich

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Tokyo Mew Mew or else I would be extremely rich. Let that thought penetrate your thick skull if you still think I still own Tokyo Mew Mew after reading what I just said.

Chapter 1: Let the Games Begin

It was a fine lovely bright day, but you probably already guessed that. Miraculously, the mews along with Keiichirou, Ryou, and that gay tree hugger Masaya were all in the park. Doing who knows what. Do you seriously think I care? Unfortunately for them, it was unknown that three aliens -that I'm sure no one knows who they are- were watching them, like the stalkers they are.

"Do you think this will work?" Kish asked Pai.

"Of course it will. I planned it myself didn't I?" the eldest alien answered.

"Well, we might as well go, since we all know that Taruto can't wait to see the monkey mew." Kish smirked at Taruto as he said this, getting quite a reaction from him. "I do _not_ want to see that weird, overly hyper…" He paused. "…_thing…_"

"Yeah…" Kish said. "…and Pai doesn't have a crush on that fish mew."

This statement caused Pai to blush furiously and Taruto to grin.

Meanwhile Ichigo was once again in a fight with her boss, due to the fact that he was forcing her to put up flyers advertising Café Mew Mew. So while Ichigo fought with Ryou, _again_, the pastry trio began their attack. (Oh noes!)

"Hi Koneko-chan!" the green haired alien called to the pink haired mew.

"KISH!" Ichigo practically screamed once she realized that he, along with Pai and Taruto were present. Kish swooped down grabbed her and began to do what he was famous for, kissing her.

"Taru-Taru, Na No Da!" Pudding squealed running up to Taruto, jumping on him so he fell out of the air and calmly began to squeeze the life out of him. Lettuce kind of just stood there, looking somewhat ditzy as Minto and Zakuro pulled out their pendants and prepared to transform. Unfortunately, Pai was one step ahead of them. He pulled out his indescribably hideous fan and attacked.

"Fuu Rai Sen!" Pai cried, which caused the three of them to lose their pendants. While Pai had been taking care of the super model with social issues, the snob, and the overly timid girl who he secretly had a crush on, Kish had wrestled (literally) the pendant out of Ichigo's hand. Meanwhile, Taruto had managed, although how, I don't know, to escape the death grip of Pudding and he now was holding her pendant above her head and teasing her with it.

"Please Taru-Taru," Pudding begged "give it back, Na No Da!" Taruto grinned wickedly and stuck his tongue out at her. "Never!" He taunted as Pai nudged him with his foot. Taruto whipped around and raised his eyebrows at his elder comrade who was holding tightly onto three of the mews wrists, and was holding Ryou off the ground by the back of his shirt.

"This is going on far too long." Pai said coolly. Taruto frowned and grabbed onto Pudding's wrist. "Let me go, Na No Da!"

"No way, Monkey girl!" Taruto laughed wickedly as he began to float upward still holding Pudding. Pudding stopped struggling when got higher than 20 feet in the air and simply started clinging to Taruto for dear life.

"Let's go." Kish called he was holding an unconscious Masaya by the ankle and a conscious Ichigo over his shoulder, who was pounding on his back, screaming. Pai nodded and teleported them (they, being the mews) to their lair. (Muahahaha.)

"Ack!" Taruto whipped around and Pudding looked at him. "I almost forgot." "To do what Taru-Taru?" Pudding asked him.

"To pick up that pastry chief" Taruto announced swooping down and grabbing Keiichirou.

_Okay, since this next part is boring, let's fast forward a little bit!_

Pai smiled at Lettuce as she stared deeply into his eyes-

_Ummm… sorry… too far ahead. Sorry. xD;_

"What's the meaning of this?!" Ichigo demanded as Kish smiled at her. "We're going to play a game, Koneko-chan." He announced. Ichigo glared at him. "Stop joking around!" Pai turned to the furious cat mew and blinked slowly. "No, seriously. We are." Ichigo paused. "Eh?" Kish hummed a cheery tune as he began to clear off the table in the middle of the living room-like space.

"What kind of game are we going to play, Pai-san?" Lettuce asked as she tilted her head to the side slightly. Kish was quick to answer this question. "We're going to play a naughty game!" He said as all of the mews blushed, except for Pudding, who was oblivious. "Shut up Kish." Pai said, his face slightly pink. "We're going to play poker." Taruto giggled.

"The terms are simple." The one, who said this, was, of course, Pai. "If you win, you will be returned to Earth. If you lose, we will kill you." Minto raised eyebrow. "And what if we refuse to play?" She asked. Kish smiled brightly. "We'll kill you anyway!"

"Well I guess we're gambling with our lives…" Ichigo said coolly.

"Please Koneko-chan, sit down." Kish said pushing her towards a chair, and as he did so he shoved Masaya in the stomach so hard he fell to the floor. "Sorry tree-hugger didn't see you there." Kish said over his shoulder as he continued to push Ichigo toward the chair. Pai, at this point, had decided that it was time for his palm to make physical contact with his forehead.

"Please sit down, everyone." Pai sighed as he sat down at the head of the table. The other mews were hesitant, but after a moment, they gradually sat down in their chairs. "Wonderful!" Kish said as he sat next to Ichigo. "Let's begin!"

**Author's notes**

Zen-kun: Haha… now that was fun. I still wish that I would have been able to make that comment about how Ichigo was secretly a 40-year-old-man…

Arizo: We couldn't have done that then Kish wouldn't be attracted to her.


	2. Masaya Goes Out

A/N: Warning this chapter contains very strong Masaya bashing

A/N: Warning this chapter contains very strong Masaya bashing.

Disclaimer: No I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew. Get that message through you thick skull.

Chapter 2: Masaya goes out

Pai began to deal out the cards and chips, while Kish and Taruto brought out the snacks. These so called snacks caused the mews, the pastry chef, the angry jerk, and the tree hugger to gasp. Indeed they were by far the most flamboyant snacks they had ever seen. There were (insert super fancy snacks here and a lot of them).

"Why is there food here?" asked Minto.

Kish gave her a critical look, "It's to eat of course." Kish told her.

"Your making us gamble for our lives, but your still giving us food?" Ryou asked as he sat down next to Keiichirou.

"Of course." Said Pai, not smiling. "You wouldn't want to gamble for your lives on an empty stomach."

Pudding eagerly grabbed for an (insert fancy food name here) and shoved it in her mouth. "It's delicious, Na No Da!" She giggled as she swallowed up the (insert fancy food here). Minto paused for a moment before helping herself to one of the delicacies. "Wow, it really is delicious!" She exclaimed as Kish smirked.

"Of course it is!" He said, winking at Ichigo. "I made them myself after all." Everyone except Pai and Taruto stared at him. "You made these?" Lettuce asked as she blushed slightly. "Yep." Kish smiled at her and rested his chin on his hand, which caused Lettuce to blush more. Pai quickly threw an éclair at Kish, which covered his face in pastry cream on contact.

"Let's begin the game." Pai growled as he examined his cards, attempting to hide the blush on his face. Kish grinned as he wiped off the last bits of éclair guts off his face. "Oooh… someone's in love." Kish said in a voice that would get anyone mad at him, which earned him another éclair to the face.

So they game of poker began( I don't know a ton about poker so let's just say that after two hours, Kish getting hit in face by three more éclairs, much to the despair of Ichigo, and the delight of Kish and Ryou, the tree-hugger lost.)

"Ah, dang it…" Masaya muttered slumping in his chair "…why do I always lose at gambling?"

"Well because you're such a goody two shoes that you can't do anything bad." Ryou stated. (Zen-kun: Also, because my partner in crime hates Masaya with a passion. –is hit with an éclair by Arizo-)

"Also because Pai cheat…" Kish broke off all of a sudden as Pai raised an éclair threateningly. Masaya looked at Ichigo and smiled sadly at her. "I'm so sorry Ichigo, but I cannot protect you any longer…" He looked at his feet sadly as Kish prepared an éclair to throw. "Oh… Aoyama-kun…" Ichigo's eyes began to water as she got up and began to walk over to her boyfriend.

"Ah… Ichigo…!"

"Aoyama-kun…!"

"Ichigo…!"

"Aoyama-kun…!"

"Ichi-"

The éclair hit target (The target being Masaya's face.) precisely, which caused Kish to grin devilishly. "Oi…! Pai shouted from across the table. "That's my move, you copycat!"

"Yeah!" Ryou said as Kish glared at him. "You're next, pretty boy!" Kish said as he began to deal out the next hand.

**Author's Notes**:

Arizo: Well the Masaya bashing wasn't that strong, sorry to all you Masaya haters, like me, who had their hopes up.

Zen-kun: This chapter was particularly hard for me… -wipes away tear- Oh well. At least Kish got an éclair to the face… gross stalker deserves it, heh heh…

Arizo: Sorry if you thought the chapter was too short.

Love all who are kind enough to review! (Zen-kun: Agh! Too nice! –dies-)


	3. Ichigo Goes Out Oh em gee!

Disclaimer: Me

Disclaimer: Me? Why I do indeed own Tokyo Mew Mew. –is hit with a paper fan by Pai- Zen-kun: Hey! You're Chinese, so you don't get that privlage!

Pai: -raises an eyebrow- What makes you think I'm Chinese?

Zen-kun: Well, Pai is another name for the Pei Ho river, which is in China, so therefore, you are Chinese! –smiles brightly-

Pai: Whatever. You don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, and that's that.

Zen-kun: -glares at Pai- Dammit.

Chapter 3: Ichigo goes out…! Oh Ehm Gee!

"Dang it!" Ichigo slammed her completely un-matching hand onto the table and rested her head in her hands. "I suck at poker!" She sobbed as Kish furrowed his eyebrows. "Well Aoyama-kun at least we'll die together" Ichigo sighed smiling weakly at him. Kish glowered at them and stood up. "It's not like we were going to kill you anyway!" Kish exclaimed as he stormed into the kitchen to get more snacks.

Pai smirked as he laid out his perfect hand. "It looks like someone's having a hissy fit." Suddenly, a small strawberry tart flew through the air and hit Pai on the side of his face. Pai's face went blank as Taruto stifled a giggle. "Excuse me, but I just remembered that I have something to do." He said coolly as he stood up and walked into the kitchen.

A few moments later, a loud scream was heard, and then sudden silence. Everyone looked at each other quietly for a moment.

"Anyone want a muffin?" Zakuro asked holding up the plate.

Kish came out of the kitchen five minutes later sporting several bruises and a few scratches, and carrying more flamboyant snacks because they were now almost out of them. Pai appeared a few moments later, his purple hair slightly damp, brushing his hands off like he had just taken care of something and he was proud of it.

"As I was saying Ichigo" Kish stated placing the new tray of snacks down, "we weren't planning on killing you anyway."

"I knew that Kish would kill me in my sleep, or at least he would try to, if I did kill you so we agreed you'll just be kept prisoner for life" Pai said coolly.

Ichigo rammed her head into the table while everyone else simply grabbed another delicacy and waited for Pai to deal out the next round.

**Author's notes**

Zen-kun: Just filling up the space… lalala… -dances-


	4. Lettuce Goes Out

Chapter Four: Lettuce goes out

Chapter Four: Lettuce goes out

A/N: Ah finally the best chapter

Disclaimer: You are even more of an idiot than Masaya if at this point you still think I own Tokyo Mew Mew.

Zen-kun: Masaya is _not_ an idiot! And it's Tokyo Mew Ew, not Tokyo Mew Mew!

Arizo: Yeah Masaya probably not and idiot but I still hate his guts!

Zen-kun: What about his body? –is shot with a machine gun-

Arizo: Sorry but Zen-kun will be absent for awhile due to injury

It had come down to this Pai vs. Lettuce, when suddenly Lettuce accidentally knocked over Pai's favorite vase (like the klutz she is) which was sitting on the table.

"You broke my favorite vase…" Pai whispered in his deadly quiet voice which makes grown men want to go hide under the covers and cry.

"I'm sorry Pai-san!" Lettuce started apologizing repeatedly (like the nervous wreck she is).

"Do you think it's just Pai, or is she normally like that?" Kish asked Ichigo.

"Normally, although Pai's influence may have something to do with it." Ichigo answered. "I see…" Kish said as he ate an éclair. (A/N: Arizo: You have got to drop the éclairs or you'll be typing this fanfic from a hospital bed even longer. Zen-kun: Ack! Gomen nasai! Erk! My bullet wounds! –clutches side-).

"It's okay Lettuce-chan." Pai announced. Kish and Taruto stared at him. Kish grabbed Pai by the shoulders and began to shake him. "What's wrong with you!? Has your mind been switched with an alien's?" Kish asked anxiously as Pai raised an eyebrow. "According to them-" He said as he waved his hand in the direction of the other people in the room. "-I am an alien." Kish paused at this comment.

"That's beside the point!" He growled as he shook his comrade more furiously. "If Taruto and/or I broke that vase you'd torture us for hours, days, months, maybe even years!" Kish exclaimed. Pai paused. "Did you just say 'and/or'?" Kish glared at him,

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Comment on how I'm over exaggerating about your sadism!" Kish screamed as the other people in the room covered their ears. Pai narrowed his eyes. "I'm not _that_ sadistic." He said coolly. Everyone else in the room looked at each other. "Um… yes you are." The all said in unison. Pai looked blankly at Lettuce who pointedly looked away.

Inside the torture chamber of Pai's mind:

_No! Lettuce thinks that I'm sadistic! I'll die! Noooo_

Pai grabbed Kish be the scruff and stared to drag him off. "C'mon, Kish. You're going to be my stress reliever." He said in a disturbingly soft way. "Oh _hell_ no!" Kish began to scramble away from him.

Another five minutes later Lettuce was out despite Pai's best efforts to give her the better cards so she would just win and he wouldn't have to reveal his undying love for her.

"Um, we're out of snacks again." Pai announced, although they still had half the snacks left, "I'm going to go get some more… um… fish mew… help me…" Pai grabbed Lettuce's arm and began to drag her towards the kitchen. Unfortunately, as Lettuce got up and began to walk toward the kitchen being, half dragged by Pai, she rammed into a table knocking it over along with Pai's other favorite vase.

For Lettuce, it was unfortunate that when she fell over, she dragged Pai down with her. They both fell on their sides, about a foot between their faces, and the shattered vase between them. Pai slowly picked up a piece of the vase and examined it blankly. You broke my other favorite vase. He said in a whisper. Lettuce immediately sat up, her face bright red, and began to apologize at high speeds.

"Just _how_ many favorite vases does he have?" Ichigo asked in annoyance as she shoved a (insert food that Zen-kun keeps having people throw at each other) into her mouth. "Just about 50 now… or… I guess 48…" Kish replied as he examined his fingernails. "I'm sorry Pai-sama, I'm sorry Pai-sama, I'm sorry Pai-sama!" Lettuce apologized repeatedly as Pai sat up as well.

He stared at Lettuce distantly, and dropped the broken piece of vase. Pai smiled at Lettuce as she stared deeply into his eyes. Then Pai did something unexpected at least for Lettuce he lifted her up superman style in his arms and continued to smile at her. Which Lettuce took as a sadistic smile. _Crap!_ Lettuce thought. _He's _smiling_ at me. That can only mean that he is really mad at me!_ "Er… Pai-sama?" Lettuce began as she looked away. "Could you please stop smiling at me? It's kind of creepy." Pai stared at her. "ILOVEYOU." He exclaimed as his face turned red, and he kissed Lettuce on the mouth. Everyone kind of stared in shock except for Kish and Taruto, because, they are kind of useless right now.

Kish smirked and elbowed Taruto. "Fork over the cash, munchkin." He said. "Ah well here I only have 1000 yen can I pay you the other 1000 yen when I get the money" Taruto asked handing Kish the money he had. "No." said Kish coolly "You'll simply have to do my laundry five times." "Noooo!" Taruto screamed flinging himself at Kish's feet. "Anything but that anything I beg you!" Taruto continued to sob. "Yeah… um… I don't really like to do laundry so I think that's how you'll pay off your debt."

At that moment Pai stopped kissing Lettuce and she got over her shock and simply fainted in his arms. "Cough up midget." said Kish nudging the still sobbing Taruto with his foot. "But I don't have the money." Taruto wailed "Please! I beg you! Don't make me do even more of your laundry." Taruto continued to wail. "Okay you can just give me foot messages." Kish told him. This idea seemed to scare Taruto even more than the idea of doing Kish's laundry because his screams and wails continued and rose to an even higher level of fear.

"Kish?" Ichigo asked.

"Yes koneko-chan?" Kish asked her.

"You made a bet with the twerp that Pai was in love with Lettuce…?" The cat mew asked.

"Hey, I think she's coming around." said Minto, who had been trying to revive Lettuce who was still unconscious in Pai's arms. Pai looked at Lettuce's face as her eyes slowly opened. She blinked and then turned to Minto. "I had the strangest dream that Pai-san told me that he loved me." She said as Minto grinned. "That wasn't a dream." She said. Lettuce blinked again and then looked up into Pai's face, which was sporting the latest fashion- a bright red color on his cheeks.

And of course, she fainted again. "Erk!" Pai glared at Minto. "Look what you did, birdie!" He exclaimed as Minto put her hands on her hips. "What the heck did I do?" She demanded. "What do you think you did?" Pai shot back. "Nothing." Minto smiled pleasantly which caused Pai to want to strangle her. Kish put his hand on Pai's shoulder and smiled. "Don't worry Pai, we believe you." He said softly as Taruto nodded in agreement. Pai sniffled as he attempted to brush away a tear with his shoulder. "I love you guys." Pai whispered.

Kish and Taruto then clung to each other in fear. "OH MY GOD!!" Kish screamed as he and every other living creature in that room -save for Lettuce who was unconscious and Pai who was the one they were running from- turned and ran from the room. "Okay…" said Pai he took Lettuce over to the couch and placed her there.

_Now to stalk those known as Kish and Ichigo…_

"Hey, Kish?" Ichigo started, attempting to pick up speed.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think it's okay to leave Pai alone with Lettuce?"

"Don't worry. He's not a pervert like me."

Kish paused.

"I think."

Ichigo stared at him and quickly turned around. "We'd better go back!" She exclaimed. "I can't agree with you more." Kish said as he picked her up and ascended into the air.

"Oi! Let me down!"

"Nah, I don't think I will."

Ichigo punched Kish at this comment.

_Back at the secret lair…with Pai and Lettuce…_

This scene has been censored because the fluff is far too eye-burning for anyone to stand.

…_ummm…okay…_

"Pai, stop where you are!" Kish cried as he slammed the door open, Ichigo close behind him. "Eh?" Pai looked blankly at him and continued to wring out the wet towel that he had gotten for the still unconscious Lettuce. Kish just looked at him. "You're not doing anything perverted to Lettuce?" Kish asked, dumbfounded. "I'm not a pervert like you and your mother, Kish." Pai growled as he placed the wet towel on Lettuce's forehead.

"Um… Pai…?" Kish began as Pai whipped around and glared at him. "What?" He snapped.

"Aren't wet towels for people with colds?"

Pai just kind of looked at Kish.

"I don't care what it's for; it's a sign of my affection."

"Yeah. Wet towels. So romantic."

"Shut up."

"Okay, if you excuse me, I'm going to go round up the others."

"Have fun."

Just as Kish opened the door again, Taruto and all the others came bursting through it, panting. Kish blinked for a moment, and then turned back to Pai. "Never mind, they came here themselves." Pai ignored him and continued to tend to Lettuce. Kish looked down as Taruto grabbed his ankle, staring at him. "What… did Pai do… to Lettuce…?" Taruto gasped as Kish crossed his arms.

"Seriously, Taruto. You're so useless." Kish said as he looked off elsewhere. "H-hey! I rounded everyone up for you! You should be thanking me!" Taruto whined as Kish smirked evilly. "Oh really? Than please accept my thank you gift of you giving me three more foot massages." He cackled. Taruto's eyes began to water. "Please! Have mercy!"

Muahahahaha…

**Author's notes**

Zen-kun: Horray! My special zombie powers have healed me! Let's celebrate!

Arizo: That's what you think you Masaya lover! -pulls out grenade-

Zen-kun: Ack! Please! Have mercy! I'll write the next chapter of Kioku for you!


	5. OH MY GOD! Lesbians

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew. Nice and simple, eh?

**Authors' Note:**

Zenaga: Hmmm… it's been a while hasn't it?

Arizo: Yes. Yes, it has. Last time we wrote I couldn't write for shit, and I didn't curse. Now I can sort of write, and I curse like sailor with a sail stuck up his arse.

Zenaga: I quite like the word arse. It's one of my favorites, actually. So, how did we end up writing the next chapter? The answer is simple; I have chicken pox.

Arizo: And I came over to keep her company, like the good friend I am. Just watch readers, when I'm sick she's going to ditch me for her lover...Hey, give me back my Doritos.

Zenaga: First of all, it's impossible for me to leave you for my lover, because you are my lover. I'd leave you for my boyfriend. On another note, Doritos are quite tasty, aren't they?

Arizo: I am?

Zenaga: This is a matter of war and Doritos. Oh, look at that, I ate them all.

Arizo: And now you are eating all the sour patches…

Zenaga: Hold on a second, I'm drawing a Diglett on my hand.

Arizo: But Zenaga…I feel that we have forgotten a matter of great importance.

Zenaga: Like the next chapter of Gambling and Random Love Confessions?

Arizo: Yes…We should probably write the next chapter. But first, there is pizza for us to eat.

Zenaga: Mmmm… giant glob of melted cheese. Delicious…

* * *

**Gambling and Random Love Confessions**

**

* * *

****Chapter 5: OH MY GOD. Lesbians.**

After all the commotion settled down, the players resumed their places at the gaming table. Pai was feeling very awkward as he sat at the head of the table, due to the fact that Lettuce was very pointedly looking away, her face red. Still…still…she had not rejected him. So, there was still hope wasn't there? Wasn't there? Pai rammed his head into the table, almost exposing his hand. Kisshu snickered at the scene before him, due to the fact that Pai was also looking incredibly embarrassed, clearly regretting his choice of confessing his love to the girl of his dreams (and nightmares.)

"You're poker face is slipping." Zakuro said bluntly to Pai, who was now nervously biting his lip. (A/N: That's how he got the scar that he had in 'My Heart is Full of Dust and Sand! xD J/k.)

Pai grabbed a bag of Doritos and threw them, with deadly accuracy, at Zakuro's head. She caught them in mid-air and threw the bag back at him. It turns out that he wasn't as good at catching things as his unbiological twin, so the bag hit him on the shoulder, exploding on contact. (Zakuro is very strong, you see.) Minto let out a squeal of delight, clapping her hands.

"You're so cool, Zakuro Oneesama!" She cried happily.

Zakuro nodded, "Thank you, Minto-chan."

Pai growled, his face darkening to a color that resembled burgundy. He inhaled deeply; and everyone ducked under the table, except for Zakuro, because she was too unfeeling, and indifferent about everything to be afraid.

"You're next Okami-chan." Pai growled, which caused Kisshu to laugh.

"Hah, that's funny because Okami means wolf!" He laughed, peeking out from under the table. "You're so clever…" He trailed off and quickly ducked back under the table as Pai glared at him.

Zakuro nodded, "I look forward to proving you wrong."

Minto leapt up upon the table, scattering poker chips into the eyes of Masaya and Ryou. Kisshu laughed at this as well, and Ichigo tackled him in his chair, in an attempt to hurt him, which Kisshu took as an attempt to, as the expression goes "Get into his pants" and dragged her back under the table.

"How dare you challenge Zakuro Oneesama! For that right you must defeat me!" Minto declared proudly as she beamed at Zakuro. Pai frowned.

"What are you, some kind of creepy fangirl?" He asked as Zakuro nodded.

"She is." Zakuro said as Minto looked crestfallen.

"But… Oneesama… I love you…" Minto said as she fiddled with the hem of her dress.

"I know Minto. And I feel the same for you. But you do not have to protect me, it is my job to protect you." The elder girl replied as she crossed her arms.

"O-Oneesama…"

Masaya –having recovered from his eyes being impaled by poker chips- shifted uncomfortably in his chair, due to his slightly homophobic nature. "Umm… this is a little strange… can we just move on?" He said as Ryou shook his head violently.

"Bad idea, tree-hugger." He said as he turned to Zakuro and Minto. "We can clear off the table so you guys and do it right here." He said as Kisshu came out from under the table, pulling up his pants.

"I think I have some handcuffs in my room if you guys want those." He said, looking deeply satisfied. Minto blushed as Zakuro stood up, grabbing her chair in preparation for throwing it at Ichigo's three love interests.

"Will you all just shut up so we can get on with the game?" Pai yelled in an uncharacteristic rage (although he hasn't really been in character for this whole fic.) Everyone just kind of looked at him.

"But we don't want to _get on_ with the game." Ryou began as Kisshu nodded in agreement (for once.)

"We want to see them _get it on_." The green haired alien finished as Zakuro's chair was flung in his general direction. Kisshu dodged, allowing the chair to shatter on the wall behind him.

"You're agreeing with me?" Ryou asked, looking at Kisshu in shock and awe, as Ichigo crawled up from under the table, attempting to straighten her dress, seemingly in a state of shock.

Kisshu's expression went from one of pure enjoyment, to one of pure disgust. "No, no I am not. I refuse to agree with you, even when lesbians are involved. ON WITH THE GAME."

"…But…" said Ryou.

"OH MY GOD CAN EVERYONE HERE JUST FOCUS?" Hollered Lettuce as she slammed her fists into the table. (Knocking over yet another of Pai's favorite vases.) "DON'T YOU ALL WANT TO GO HOME?"

At Lettuce's sudden outburst, everyone went silent, and then once again returned to their spots at the table, with Zakuro and Minto's fingers now intertwined under the table cloth. The game continued on normally for a while, until everyone had folded, except for Kisshu and Ryou. The two smirked at each other as Pai dealt out the next card.

"You gonna fold, blondie?" Kisshu sneered as Ryou stroked his chin. "Not a chance. What about you, freak."

"Nope, I've got me a winning hand here." Said Kisshu confidently, licking his lips, and putting his feet up on the table. "Perhaps, we should make this a bit more interesting. Winner gets Ichigo's hand in marriage."

"What?" Said Masaya, "But I'm already engaged to her."

"Yeah but in a few hours, I'm going to cut you open and feed your innards to my pet lizard," said Kisshu, "Which will kill you, thus annulling your engagement to Ichigo."

Here he kissed Ichigo's hand. "Deal." Said Ryou as he slid all of his chips into the center. "I'm all in."

Kisshu smirked as he too slid all of his chips into the center. "Fine. Me too." Pai glanced at both of them as he set down the final card.

"Show your hands." He said. Ryou confidently threw down his hand, revealing two pairs of aces and kings. Kisshu burst out laughing as he threw down his cards to reveal a royal flush. Ryou stared blankly at Kisshu's hand, realizing that he had not only just lost Ichigo, but that he was now going to die as well.

He attempted to run for it. Pai suddenly appeared out of nowhere and grabbed the back of Ryou's collar, halting his attempted escape. "Please do not try to escape. If you do, than I will allow Kisshu to kill you as slowly as he wishes."

These words caused a cease in Ryou's struggles. Pai dropped him, and Ryou stalked over the couch, and sat there sulking.

"Kisshu…" said Ichigo, very quietly, then blushed and ran out of the room, crying. Kisshu leapt up and followed her, beaming. Pai turned to the rest of the people at the table, his face blank. (OH MY GOD. Pai is in character!)

"We will take a break for the night, and continue tomorrow afternoon." He announced. "Taruto will direct you to your appropriate dungeon cells." Keiichirou furrowed his brow.

"You have a dungeon?" He asked as Taruto leapt up (for some reason, in a bathing suit) in a rage.

"How come I have to lead them to their rooms?" He yelled as Pai frowned at him.

"Taruto, it's been a long day. Just do it." He growled as Taruto shrunk back, walking backwards into the hall.

"Umm… everyone… if you could follow me please." Taruto said from around the corner.

Everyone rose, looking solemn, and began to follow him around the corner. "Lettuce, will you stay please." Said Pai, from where he stood at the head of the table. Lettuce sat back down in her seat, staring at her lap, tears sliding down her face.

Pai opened his mouth several times, than gave up on talking. He took Lettuce's face between his hands, and kissed her gently. "I would never hurt you." Kissing her tear-stained face, "So don't cry, please don't cry." Lettuce stared at him, unable to stop crying.

"I-I'm sorry Pai-san… it's just…" She hiccupped, looking away nervously. "You're really scary." Pai looked heartbroken at this.

"Really?" He growled in frustration. "Really? That's how you're going to end all of this? 'You're scary'?"

"I-I do like you. You're intelligent, and you look out for you're brothers…its just you scare me. I'm sorry." She said as she twiddled her thumbs.

Pai's eyes lit up. "You like me?" He said, tilting his head slightly. Lettuce blushed and nodded slightly. "That's good enough for me." He said as he scooped her up into his arms again, causing her to scream.

"P-P-Pai-san! Let me down!" She cried as he floated down the hall, smirking slightly. He bent down slightly and sniffed her neck. "You smell like Gummi-Worms." He said as she stared at him with a gaze that was somewhere between fright and confusion.

"Wh-where are you taking me?" She cried as Pai shifted her onto his shoulder.

"I'm going to make you like me more." He said as he opened the door to his room. Her eyes widened, and she started pounding on his back.

"No! I'm only 14! I don't want to! Let me down!" She cried.

"I was 14." Pai told her, setting her down on his bed. Lettuce stared up at him, pressing herself together everywhere that she could, her arms crossed against her chest.

"That's different! You're a guy! And an alien!" She said as he crouched above her. "Noooo!" She screamed, pushing him away. "Rape!"

"What are you talking about?" He asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. Lettuce continued to stare at him, dumbfounded. Pai reached behind her and produced a brightly colored box.

"We're going to play Twister." He said as she looked relieved. "Oh, I thought you were… you know…" Pai turned red at this and quickly got up and stood next to the bed.

"Aren't you trying to make this relationship go a little too fast, Lettuce?" He said as her jaw dropped.

"Really? You're going to say something like that after what you just did?" She said as she sat up and crossed her arms.

At that moment, Ichigo and Kisshu burst into the room, Ichigo looking slightly disappointed. "Damn, I thought that he was going to be doing something perverted to her. And then you'd owe me money." She said as Kisshu started jumping up and down excitedly. "Oh my god! I love Twister!" He grabbed Ichigo's hands as she stared at him in confusion. "Let's play! Please please please? You'll love it!" He squealed as she smiled in spite of herself.

"Kisshu," Pai growled from across the room. Kisshu stopped jumping and looked at him. "Shut up." The elder alien growled as he removed the twister mat from the box. "I'll spin the dial, so you guys play." At this point, although the aliens seemed to be enjoying themselves, Ichigo and Lettuce were both very confused.

"Who the hell wrote this story anyway?" Ichigo asked as Lettuce shrugged.

"Probably insane perverts with no lives." The green mew replied as Ichigo nodded.

"I agree!" Zenaga said as she slapped Arizo for eating all her Snickers.

"Your Snickers were delicious Zenaga," Arizo replied.

"Who are you?" the Tokyo Mew Mew characters asked.

"God." The authors replied in unison. "You must obey our every command." Zenaga said as she grabbed the twister dial and spun it.

"Right foot blue."


End file.
